There has been so much since I last wrote in my blog that both my husband, myself and the foundation has achieved. Its been two years and time doesnt heal so I have found out. Im waiting for the day when it does not hurt as much. I dont feel that time being anytime real soon. its painful still to get up everyday.
Ive recently spent time working on my book. some people are shocked that I am writing a book and I really am quite disheartened by the thoughts and comments that I have received. Why not write a book? Wouldnt a book to a new suffering person out there help? would telling my story about Hannah and the life I have had change so much assist in educating others? Im sure it would. Anyway Ive decided to do it despite the knockers out there.
I get annoyed when I read research from academics about drowning prevention. Yes they have their own place but really who listens to them? Do we take on board the statistics and the reasons why legislation is in place or do people ignore it because it wont happen to them mentality? these are the questions Ive asked myself over and over.
Ive raised five children before Hannah died. All my kids could swim apart from my 17 month old and he still cant because since Hannahs Death if instilled the fear of god into him that water is a killer. He is petried of puddles where the other four wouldnt hesitate to jump into a puddle not knowing its depth or what was in it. My life has changed.
Since I now suffer from chronic aqua phobia its debiliating every day. THere are days when I cant wash my hair, go to a public toilet for fear of them not having a hot water tap, I carry antiseptic canisters in my handbag because i fear water, hearing a pool pump at a friends place, walking past the aquarium or even seeing water on the road when driving creates a living hell of place that you just cant move from. Ive often stopped the car and bawled my eyes out and my kids in the car thinking "mums lost it yet again". There are many life changes after the death of child. Marriages change, the want of another child, your older children move out becuase they too can not cope in the house that killed their sister. So many to list that Id be here for hours.
Anyway its Boxing Day here in Australia, we didnt celebrate Christmas again this year. Andrew is working shifts and the older kids moved out with their own love of their lives and my other two kids are here at home. Its how we cope.
So yesterday I condensed parts of my book into a small novel read of about 8 pages. Ive had to format it in a PDF document and it cant be printed or copied so I apologise for that. If you would like to comment on it please do so on my blog or email at katherine@hannahsfoundation.org.au
I just hope that any person who reads it understands that not all parents are to blame. We accept our crime of a few seconds or minute minutes of taking our eyes off our child but sometimes there are other factors that contribute. IN Australia there are laws for Pool fencing and sadly they are not enforced and people ignore them.
I will let you decide if this book will help,hinder or just educate. Maybe its just my own self related therapy. who knows. I just to wait and see what the feedback is. I wish there was a book out there on drownings, how to cope, how it would be and how do we rebuild our lives.
http://www.hannahsfoundation.org/PDFs/Hannah's%20Legacy%20-%20The%20Backyard%20Tragedy%20-%20condensed%20version%20December%202009.pdf
Cheers for now
Kat
xxxxx
