Dear Anonymous,
I write to express my utter distaste for your delivery of
tone in your recent article on IVillage.
How Perfect you must be sitting at your desk insinuating that parents don’t
care about their children, are lazy and inept in the care of their children
when it comes to water safety. You have
certainly raised a few eyebrows as an ANONYMOUS author.
What’s my view on the anonymous protection of your
identity? GUTLESS and COWARDLY!
View point on the article itself? You had great intentions but you totally missed
the mark in a huge way, sending social media into a frenzy of mothers out there
having to PROTECT their decisions for THEIR families.
You on the other hand have obviously, purposely alienated
yourself by not identifying yourself. I wonder if you did show us who you are, would
you get hate mail? Like the parents of
children who drown do because they apparently failed. I have plenty of hate mail and threats and so
have my surviving children. Drowning is
cruel. It’s incomprehensible what families and victims go through. It’s forever life changing. Your life hasn’t changed has it Dear
Anonymous? Or Has it? Was that day a wake up call for you? How about instead of blaming and questioning
others in your world why not question those close to home?
I am the parent of a daughter, Hannah, aged 34 months at the
time of her death who did exactly what your child's friend managed to do with
chairs and open a pool gate and enter pool water. Hannah knew the rules of our house, she could
swim she had swum from six months of age and two nights before her death
managed to complete two full lengths of our above ground pool without stopping
in her freestyle. She could have done
three laps.
Hannah died two days later on October 4th 2007. I
was changing my son’s nappy, that’s how quick it happened. Just like you said in your article that the
child in your care knew better. My
question is really, were they old enough to know better? Had they been around water all their life to
know better? Had you told them the rules
of the house or did you have ‘expect’ a child of eight to know? My child was only nearing three years old
and yet I don’t blame her one bit, it’s my fault. I find it very infuriating to hear such
diatribe from the uneducated on pool safety.
You know nothing. It’s probably
irrelevant to you, nor do I think you care but Hannah’s Coronial Inquest shaped
the pool safety laws in QLD for what they are right now into SAVING LIVES. Our house had 19 breaches to building
codes, council had approved our house as compliant prior to purchase we thought
our house was safe. We taught Hannah to
swim, all our five children can swim, we did everything right in trying to keep
our children safe. Yet for whatever
reason when I was inside and Hannah was beside me, then to walk out on to our
verandah and access our locked pool gate is just unthinkable. Its been seven years and I still have
nightmares. Do you have nightmares Dear
Anonymous for your near miss? Do
you? I doubt it. Heartless people don’t have nightmares they give
me nightmares.
There are two facts are in your article that make me really
mad as a parent of a child who drowned and as a drowning prevention advocate. *(Google me:
Kat Plint, Hannah’s Foundation)
FACT 1: Your pool had
items of climbing potential around it and it was scaled that is a MASSIVE FAIL
on your part.
FACT 2: You only just
sighted this child after she had scaled your pool fence and you watched
her. WHO does that? Why did you educate this child on
safety? You wouldn’t of been there if
that child had of dived in, fallen in or hit her head etc.
How fast can you run Anonymous to your pool? 15 – 45seconds at best maybe? By the time you get outside it’s too
late. Her brain would be slowly being
deprived of oxygen and dying. This is
real. This is drowning. Not swimming, it’s about survival. Could you live with that? Could you live with telling your child's friends
parent that their child died on your watch because you were too lazy to be
outside?
Many parents know that Active supervision is required when
kids are in and around water. Those that
drown are unfortunate sad accidents that yes could have been avoided but for
momentary lapses for whatever reason unintentional a child died and that is
tragic. There is no cure for drowning
only prevention. You might just pay to
look up the word RISK in the dictionary.
Life is full of risks Dear Anonymous and its not just eight year olds
who come to play at your house and can’t swim that could die in your care.
The facts are staring at you and you failed in your insulating
grab at poor mums out there that you were nearly me. You could have been living my life. A child drowned in my care it could have been
you. Fact is that drowning can and will
happen to anyone, anytime if safety isn’t paramount. I’m glad for one that you aren’t living my
life because it’s a pretty crappy life to live and get up every day knowing
that your baby isn’t alive and isn’t with you.
FACT: Your
Supervision wasn’t active until right at the end. Active supervision, where was
it? You are one of the lucky ones Dear Anonymous,
one of the lucky ones that doesn’t live with such tragic consequences, live
life of grief and constant public ridicule of why what were you doing. The tirade of tone in your post was
offensive. Blaming mothers for their
yoga and not teaching their kids to swim?
Are you serious? HOW dare you? Who are you? Should we, the public care what you think? No not really because any caring parent firstly wouldn’t judge another but instead offer support to help the situation. You take digging the knives into others isn’t helping our cause of advocacy. Life is a potential risk.
Let me educate you on the real facts of the tragedy that could have unfolded in your back yard.
FACT: 20 seconds is
all it takes for a child to drown.
FACT: Most kids who drown over five years can swim or have
had lessons. Even those under five too. Those that don’t are more often than
not, not the ones drowning. In the past
two years children over Eight who have died have been Swimmers who DROWNED. Good Swimmers, Olympic Swimmers and Divers
have drowned.
FACT: Coroners in
Australia have only ever recommended Supervision and Compliant barriers to
prevent drowning and have never questioned swimming lessons or the ability of a
victim.
FACT: With so many
who do swim, can swim and have drowned, the only conclusion you can possibly
equate is that swimming doesn’t save lives if it did why do swimmers
drown?
FACT: Swimmers drown
because they are unskilled. Even the
best of Olympic and competition swimmers in open water ways have become
troubled in water and died. Nothing can
equip you for every possible scenario in water but yes teaching kids just to
get out of the pool is a bit unrealistic as well its not about getting out its
about SURVIVAL.
FACT: your house is
probably more than dangerous than you care to even contemplate. Poisons in unlocked cupboards, televisions
on furniture, blind cords, the list goes on including the family care. Kids can be killed in any part of the
home.
I find your expectations of a child all of eight years to be unrealistic. A child may know the rules, be trained in
all the emergency procedures but I’d like to inform you that when kids are
tested in times of dangers THEY FORGET. Adults
forget too. Dear Anonymous do you know
CPR? Can you do it effectively when
under stress with a dying child in front of you? It may be a mean and nasty question but its
fact because this is what is faced with many of us who try and save our own child. CPR doesn’t always work either there are no
guarantees in life.
You expect every child to know how to swim, not climb a
fence, not be adventurous and not get into mischief at your house? What were you doing inside the house if she
was outside? This would be a police
question. One I was asked and so were
many other parents. If kids can’t be
adventurous in house how sad for your children.
And even sadder is that this little girl can’t come back to your house
to play and have social interaction with friends, your child. How awful.
I sincerely hope you told your child that her friend can’t come to play
because her friend can’t swim. Get over
yourself, you cant be serious? How petty. That would be like me saying
to my children’s friends you can’t come here because you can’t horse ride, ride
motorbikes, quad bikes or pat the cows because they aren’t farmers or have
never been on a farm. What about life
experience Dear Anonymous? There are some very sad accidents in life and I am sure having read many of the parent’s comments to your post that they too are seething at you. Im just annoyed at your naivity. Mothers have a hard job at best, yet just like the other debates across mummy blog world breast vs bottle, natural vs caesarean, vaccinate or no vacs the list goes on you have segregated a community of mothers who are unable to have their children taught to swim. Many would want their children to swim. It’s not a can’t matter, its unable. These mothers respond with other safety precautions and they too, have my support.
Yes swimming is a skill for life and I agree. Think about those who you criticised. A mother in a wheelchair raising four kids and a husband who travels. Do you offer to support this mother and help her in the water at the pool? Don’t think so.
A mother who is raising three children, two severely
austistic. Water is an attraction to autistic
children and these mothers have a hard time just getting two hours sleep let
alone fight with their children in the pool with an instructor and end up
having an overstimulated child who doesn’t sleep afterwards making for a ‘shitty’
night. Only to have to do it all again next week to suit your opinion that they
are lazy parents. They are not lazy at
all. These mothers don’t put their kids
in harms way they go way above it to avoid it.
Those mothers just trying to keep a roof over their childrens head and food on the table. Seriously you dont live their lives so stay out of it, look after you own life Its not perfect by any means.
Just because Dear Anonymous you want every child to swim isn’t
realistic. There are children too who can’t
swim because they too are disabled, have a medical condition which doesn’t allow
them to be in water because it’s too dangerous. Would you expect a child of eight who had
over 40 seizures a day to learn to swim?
Do you know how dangerous that is not only for the child but for the
instructor (with two other kids in their class) too. Would you have this child
visit your home? Are your prepared for
this too?
Unrealistic expectations is what you have Dear Anonymous. How
sad our world has become. Such a pity
that the anonymous’ out there life, live in their perfect bubbled worlds and aren’t
very charitable towards others.
Sadly when a child drowns Dear Anonymous I can hear your posts now that the poor mums are to blame. Give mothers a break.
Feel free to contact Hannah's Foundation, a registered charity to support drowning victims and their families and who provide valuable community education to prevent drownings.
Kat Plint
